Amusement Parks and Accessibility Services: A Moms POV

It finally happened yesterday.  Rowens disability was attached to his capability to participate in fun like all other kids his age. 

Hershey Park has a rule that miniatures (0-36”) can ride some rides with an adult (where weight limits permit) but no hand held lap infants. Rowen clearly wasn’t a 6 month old baby who could barely sit-up. That’s what “no handheld lap infants” means. A baby that doesn’t have the ability to control muscles or understand what’s going on. 

All because Rowen can’t walk yet, we had to get an accessibility pass to be able ride said rides he couldn’t ride with me because he couldn’t walk. Labeling him with a disability gave him park privileges he should have otherwise had, had they not asked questions about his diagnosis. He can brace himself. He can sit-up. He can stand. Cruise. Walk with assistance. He does everything but walk independently. They could have observed that in line. I asked all the questions. This isn’t a matter of rules. It was a matter of people not being trained correctly (management admitted) and making things difficult when all we wanted to do was have a fun day. I had to do a questionnaire gauging his cognitive/physical ability. I understand there are safety precautions and manufacturers rules for rides. He couldn’t ride without the pass, but he could ride with the pass. Solo or with an adult where permitted. Rowen definitely isn’t ready to ride alone yet but I ride with him. He was approved for every ride alone that allow “Hershey Miniatures” to ride. I was a Karen and threw a fit. Then I realized I’m ADVOCATING for my son. It may seem weird to other special needs parents that I’m protesting his label, but my son doesn’t always need to be attached to his diagnosis to be a member of society. If he had other other delays that would make it useful to have an accessibility pass, I would have had no problem utilizing it. There are neurotypical children who are almost 2 and still don’t walk.  I didn’t see the inability to walk independently as part of his diagnosis because he has the cognitive function to participate with supervision. Just like every other child. 

 I’m not embarrassed of Rowen. I constantly brag about him, his diagnosis and the positivity it’s brought into my life. I just didn’t feel the need to label him as disabled because he’s a few months behind on some milestones. I don’t ignore his diagnosis but I do treat him no differently than if he didn’t have DS. I don’t play the disability card. I don’t enable him. I do ABA with him and make him work hard. But when he does accomplish a goal I act as if he won an Oscar. Small goals celebrated leads to the accomplishment of big goals. That’s the way I parent. I believe Rowen is capable of trying things like the rest of us, and if I learn (or he asks) he needs extra support to do something, I’ll jump through every hoop to get him the services he needs and work with him myself. I’m not depriving him of help but giving him the chance to try it independently first. That’s where the sense of independence comes in. 

After we spent the first hour of our time waiting in lines to be told no then dealt with getting an accessibility pass, we finally get to go on a ride. I do want to give a shout out to the young lady at accessibility services who helped us. She was so kind and understanding as to why I was upset. At Hershey Park, accessible riders enter through the exits. They essentially get to jump the line sometimes. It is what it is. This is a huge reason I didn’t want to use the pass. I felt like an asshole jumping the line Because I didn’t consider Rowen disabled just because he couldn’t walk at almost 2 years old. 

There were about 10 other parents/kids in front of us and because of rowens pass, we got right on. I felt the glare of the mom next to me like laser vision. I watched this woman look my son up and down analyzing him for his “disability”. Then proceeded to give me a dirty look. As if she decided whether he was classified as disabled or not. It was one of those moments you just can’t believe is happening. I have a mouth on me. But I had no words. The next ride we went on, I waited in the regular line holding 23 lb Ro for 20 minutes not being able to put him down because I didn’t want another incident like the last ride. It made me feel terrible and so mad. Mothers are suppose to support each other And here was this woman looking at my son with eyes of judgment as she sits with her two kids on a ride. This is the type of examples today’s parents are setting for their children. 

I had a lot of angry tears today. That’s when I’m REALLY angry. We ended up getting to ride a few rides and he had such a blast. He was yelling, throwing his hands up and couldn’t stop smiling. In that moment I realized I did exactly what he needed me to do today, be his voice and let them know he is ABLE to do things just like the other kids. 

To the stranger parents of the kids who interact with my son in public and you think nothing of it, thank you. To the parents who teach their kids about disabilities and make it a norm, thank you. Please, let your kids ask questions if they want. It’s not rude. If we raise this generation to normalize special needs and integrate inclusive classrooms, maybe I won’t have to deal with this too much as he grows. Yes, sometimes we do want our kids to be treated accordingly with their disability, but sometimes we just want an interaction with other kids where his diagnosis just goes unseen and he can be just a kid too. Not a kid with Down Syndrome. 

*as special needs parents, we don’t need to agree on everything or different tactics parents use to raise their children. We do what works for us. I prefer the word Special Needs versus intellectual disability because my belief is that Rowen has “special needs” that help him learn and adapt to the world in his own way. He’s not disabled in my eyes, he can accomplish any reasonable goal he has with the help of his support system. I have ADD/SPD and I myself have “special needs” as to how I learn best during my college education or live my daily life. It’s not a derogatory term in my eyes. If Rowen chooses to be addressed differently some day, I will respect his choice.